


A Piece of You

by Logo



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 22:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20804009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Logo/pseuds/Logo





	A Piece of You

Richie leant against the podium, fumbling with his paper as he struggled to keep his hands steady enough to read what was on it. He kept glancing up at the crowd, seeing the unfamiliar faces scowling at him disapprovingly. He wasn’t sure what they knew about him and Eddie, and he wasn’t quite sure if he was happier if they did know or if they didn’t. Either way, Richie felt he had just as much of a right— maybe even more of a right— as anyone else to speak today. He closed his eyes and controlled his breathing before adjusting his glasses to read.  
“This is going to be a little weird for me since I’m not used to writing my own material-“ he heard the other losers chuckle, and he waited for a snide remark from Eddie but of course, he wasn’t going to get one. “Uh.. Where can I even begin... uh...” mumbling to himself, acutely audible through the mic, he felt his stomach twist painfully. Something dripped onto the paper. His heart seemed to stop as he realised he was crying. Everything before now had felt surreal, the pictures, the guests he had no idea about but resented anyway, the grieving wife-  
Mike briskly walked up to him, putting an arm around Richie’s shoulders and whispered in his ear. “You don’t have to do this if you can’t handle it. I can read it instead if you want-“  
“No.” Richie gave a wry smile, his cheeks already damp from his tears. “I need to do this. I should’ve done this...” Mike hugged him tightly, Richie ready to succumb to his emotions and fall into a mess on the floor. But he had to do this. He felt this was his last chance for Eddie to finally hear what he should’ve back 27 years ago. As strange as it sounded, Richie felt Eddie was able to hear everything today, as if he was standing in the room with him. That thought gave him all the strength he had left to give to push through. Mike understood. He gently patted Richie’s shoulder before quietly walking back to his chair beside Bill. Richie pulled out a handkerchief he had stuffed into his pocket at the last minute, quickly dabbing his eyes and taking another deep breath before turning to face the crowd again. “Okay... I uh, I had never written my own uh... I already said that..” he fumbled, helplessly feeling his mind wander back to his final moments with Eddie. It had taken him so long to write his eulogy, nothing felt right to say to Eddie one last time. How could so many feelings and emotions be put into one letter? Just one piece of paper? In the end, he wrote something safe. Something that didn’t come from the heart but rather what he thought everyone else would expect him to say. Richie looked behind him, a pang of sorrow striking his heart as his eyes fell upon the empty coffin. He noticed Mike and Bill getting ready to take him off the stage, and he couldn’t leave until he said what he needed. 

He quickly composed himself, scrunching his letter into a ball and stuffing it into his pocket. Eddie’s wife and friends looked confused and unamused at his display, but he couldn’t let fear control him anymore.  
“Eddie... where can I begin? You were bossy, paranoid, loud, and an extreme hypochondriac. There was one time where I had the flu and you didn’t speak to me for like a whole month. That month during my childhood felt so lonely and incomplete and I couldn’t understand why... until almost 30 years later. Until I was 30 years... too late...” Agitated whispers began through the crowd surrounded Myra and Richie almost thought he should stop; but he’d always regret it if he did. “Y-you know, you always had this funny way of making me feel good just by being around me. No matter how dark a day felt, you could brighten instantly just by walking into the room. As time went on, these confusing and terrifying feelings only grew stronger. I thought if I tried ignoring it all long enough it could all go away, but along the way I forgot about you... but the moment I saw you again—decades after the last time we spoke or even saw each other—all those feelings came flooding back and I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny them this time.” Richie looked over to the memorial photo of Eddie. He detached the microphone and walked over to it, wanting the world to hear everything. “You risked your life to save mine; a really shitty move considering you were a risk analyst. You should’ve known that I would’ve happily died as long as it meant you got to live-“ he reached out and touched the pictures cheek, caressing it as if Eddie was actually standing there in front of him. “I know you hate when I call you it but... Eds, I love you.” The room exploded into an enraged uproar. Mike and Bill quickly ran on stage to fix the situation, but the rest of the world felt it was fading out of existence. All Richie could see was Eddie. 

Richie was quickly ushered out of the room and into a small bathroom, followed by the other losers. Beverly hesitantly looked behind her and entered, shutting the door behind her and locking it. The reality of what he said and did began to sink in, and he felt his heart drop. Not only had he publicly come to terms with his love for Eddie in front of his family and friends, but Eddie would never be able to hear it himself. His breathing became shallow, and he lurched sideways barely holding himself up by the porcelain sink. Beverly scooted past and crouched beside him, gently rubbing his back as tears filled her eyes. Unable to keep his emotions under control, Richie collapsed into Beverly’s arms. She fell back onto the floor, taken aback for a moment. He sobbed hysterically onto her shoulder, too weak and broken to wrap his arms around her for comfort. Beverly felt her chest ache, and she tightly wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his back. No words had to be spoken for Richie to feel Beverly’s sincere love for him, and the simple act of holding him while he sobbed helped ease the pain; but only by a tiny fraction.  
Richie felt another hand pat his back, but was unable to raise his head to acknowledge whoever it was.  
“I’m sorry Rich-“ Mike’s voice croaked. The others began to talk amongst each other for a moment before quietly leaving him and Bev alone.  
“R-Richie... I.. I’m so proud of you.” She rubbed his back and held him tighter, tears dripping onto the back of his shirt. “Y’know, I truly think that you and Eddie were made for each other, just like me and Ben. I can’t even begin to imagine what I’d be like if this was Ben’s funeral today.” Her words, though said with the best intentions, felt like a knife through his heart. A part of him wanted to believe her, but the rest of his mind convinced him that Eddie could never have loved him too. He was so well put together, cautious, caring, selfless—the list was never ending— and Richie was just the funny guy who couldn’t even make it as a comedian without someone else doing all the work for him. The only joke he made was the life he had ended up with.  
Beverly pulled away, gently lifting Richie’s face and taking off his glasses. She carefully held his hand as she stood and helped him to his feet as well.  
“Let’s get you cleaned up a bit okay? Just splash some cold water on your face and have a minute to cool off. I think everyone is going to the wake now though. Do you remember the address or do you want me to wait for you?”  
“Uh.. I remember.. don’t wait up for me I think I should uh, be alone for a bit.” Her brows furrowed and tears noticeably began welling up in her eyes again. She reached out and cradled his cheek in her hand, gently kissing his cheek and giving him a loving embrace.  
“Don’t do anything to yourself Rich. Eddie saved you because he wanted you to live. Don’t throw that away, at least for his sake.” Her voice broke several times, and squeaked towards the end. The pain in her voice broke Richie’s heart, but not as much as thinking about Eddie being the reason he was alive, and he being the reason he wasn’t. Beverly forced a smile through her quivering lips. She left reluctantly, turning back to smile at Richie one more time before leaving him alone. 

Richie looked at himself in the mirror. He began to lose himself again, sobbing over the sink and punching at the wall in frustration.  
“Why... Why me? Eddie.. you... you should’ve be the one to live...” he wailed between sobs, barely getting a chance to breathe and feeling himself getting lightheaded quickly. He pressed his back against the wall and slowly slid down, crashing roughly to the ground and ripped his glasses off his face, throwing them at the adjacent wall. He stared blankly for a moment, running his fingers through his hair, before he continued to hysterically sob.  
“Ugh how can you be sitting on the floor in a public bathroom? Do you know how many germs you’re sitting in?” Richie felt his stomach drop as the voice echoed throughout the empty room. He slowly peered over to his side and swore his heart stopped for a moment. Eddie sat beside him, he appeared so faint and transparent that it was nearly impossible to see him; but Richie knew it was him. He saw his head turn and smile at him, a blood stained hand reaching out and gently caressing his cheek. Richie screamed out in terror, desperately pulling himself across the room to retrieve his glasses. His hands shook so intensely he could barely put them back on. Once he did, he subconsciously held his breath and turned around again but saw nothing. The bathroom door slammed open, narrowly avoiding his head.  
“Shit! Richie what happened?!” Mike asked, kneeling down to help him to his feet.  
“E..Eddie.. he..” Mike flinched at the name, averting his eyes.  
“I thought I’d stay behind to make sure you were going to be okay. Myra is pretty worked up over your proclamation.. her family said you wouldn’t be allowed at the wake unless you went and apologised to her.”  
“What?.. She.. she never even loved him.”  
“Rich.. she was his wife, they obviously loved each other at some-“  
“NO!” Richie shoved him away, roughly pushing him into the wall before storming out. Mike sighed, rubbing his shoulder as he watched him leave. He looked to the photo of Eddie and clenched his fists. He turned his back and slowly made his way out behind Richie, hoping he didn’t do anything stupid for the rest of the day. 

Richie gripped the steering wheel so tightly the bones in his knuckles looked like they could protrude from his skin if he gripped any tighter. He had never really thought of the reality of Eddie and Myra living as a married couple before. Even when Eddie confided in him the night before confronting IT, there was a disconnect from the thought. Eddie had seemed so neutral when speaking of her, speaking earnestly about how they met and came to be married and how empty his life had felt since. Whenever he tried to imagine them as a married couple he felt sick and quickly shook the thought from his mind.  
“Rich...” a shiver went down his spine. It was undeniably Eddie’s voice, but after his encounter in the bathroom he refused to acknowledge it; until it spoke again. “Richie-“ he reluctantly looked into the rearview mirror and jerked the steering wheel involuntarily, almost running himself off the road. His throat tightened and his chest felt like a weight was being pressed down on it. Though still faint, Eddie was visibly seen sitting behind him. He turned up the radio to drown out all thoughts of him, tears severely blurring his vision but pressing on regardless. 

Richie finally made it to the wake, seeing Beverly standing outside the function having a cigarette. She noticed him pulling up and waved him down, quickly stomping out her cigarette and disposing of the butt. Richie parked the car, wiping his eyes before getting out of the car, trying his hardest not to look into the backseat. A hand touched his arm and he let out a small scream.  
“Richie?” Beverly cooed. He sighed in relief, turning to face her. “Sorry, I was calling out to you I thought you heard me.”  
“No I didn’t. Sorry I felt a bit distracted..” Beverly’s mouth twitched in an attempt to smile. She leaned in and hugged him lovingly, rubbing his back soothingly. She stepped back and looked over her shoulder, her tone suddenly shifting.  
“Rich, I uh.. I don’t know how to tell you this.. but Myra’s family has requested for you to not come in-“  
“I’m going to apologise to her.”  
“Oh. Okay... You’re taking this better than I did-“  
“She screamed in Myra’s father’s face before disappearing on me.” Ben laughed, joining the two. Richie chuckled, wishing he had gotten to see that.  
“But for real.. I personally think you have nothing to apologise for. That woman has made this whole funeral all about her when Mike and Bill were the ones who planned everything! Honestly the nerve of her playing victim is revolting and incredibly disrespectful to Eddie.”  
“Can we not do this right now?.. I would gladly like this day to be over. I’m only here for Eddie’s sake.” Richie’s voice cracked as he spoke. Ben coolly put his arm around him, always being able to keep up the facade of being perfectly fine for the sake of everyone else.  
“Do you want me to join you while you talk to her?”  
“I should really do it alone, but thanks.”  
“Mike and Bill ordered a Chinese banquet for today. Since that’s what we all ate before everything turned for the worse.”  
“Let’s hope I don’t get another eyeball in my fortune cookie.”  
“Beep beep Richie.” Bev teased as she opened the main doors. 

As soon as they entered, all eyes were on him. The guests began to talk in hushed voices, many gesturing towards him. An older woman that Richie vaguely remembered sitting beside Myra came storming over, steam practically fuming out of her nose.  
“I told you I didn’t want to see his face in here-“  
“He has just as much a right to be here than anyone else. Besides, he wants to apologise to your daughter. Where is she?”  
“Watch your tone Miss! I will have you all kicked out if you cause another distasteful scene.”  
“Yeah okay. Where’s your daughter?”  
“Myra went to the bar. If I hear any kind of commotion I swear-“  
“Cool thanks, bye.” Bev waved her off and pushed past, Richie and Ben quickly following.  
“Wow Bev, and here I thought you lost that fiery charm of yours.”  
“What can I say? I hate people like them.”  
“You mean everyone else here except us?”  
“It’s hard for anyone to be as cool as us losers” she claimed, playfully flicking her hair over her shoulder. It was refreshing having Ben and Bev with him treating him like nothing had changed. A break from grief was what he desperately needed today.  
“You go in ahead. Ben and I will wait in here so she doesn’t feel like she’s being interrogated or something.”  
“We can have a drink or two after as well” Ben winked. Richie nodded gratefully before walking into the luxurious bar. 

Richie could see Myra sitting with a friend by the bar. It was more daunting to have her with her, and he decided to wait aside for a moment he could approach her on her own. He sat close by, trying as best as he could to remain unnoticed by them. Naturally, he began to eavesdrop on their conversation.  
“...Chinese? Did they even know Edward? For all those years I knew him he did not seem like the type to eat that cheap crap.”  
“It has been infuriating having those weirdos come in and take over. They act as if they know him more than I do when they haven’t talked since they were teenagers!”  
“What was with that glasses man?”  
“Ugh don’t get me started. What a show. Pathetic. I can’t deny that I always had a feeling Eddie had an attraction towards men, but did he have to leave me for such a grub?”  
“Wait, left you?”  
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? The night before he left town he told me it was over. It came out of nowhere! He packed these large suitcases and just walked out no matter how much I begged he stay.”  
“Oh my god.. that doesn’t sound like the Edward we knew!”  
“I know. To add to the misfortune, a couple days after I was notified of his death I found out I was actually pregnant-“ a loud ringing began in Richie’s ears. His head began spinning and his body went numb. He didn’t have the strength to interject, and all he could do was helplessly sit by and continue listening.  
“Is it his?”  
“Just because we weren’t loving doesn’t mean I would cheat on him. Besides, we both had needs we still needed to satisfy and we were married for heavens sake. It’s so strange, all those years we tried and nothing but then when he dies suddenly I’m carrying his child.”  
“Aw sweetie, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You know, I had a friend who was raised by a single mother and she turned out swell.”  
“Oh god I’m not actually going to keep it. I have an appointment next week-“ suddenly, Richie began to move without thinking. He walked right up to Myra, practically collapsing at his feet.  
“What the fuck are you doing here? God I’ll go-“  
“N-no p-please.. i...” Myra raised an eyebrow and took another sip of her drink. She asked her friend to leave them alone for a moment, rubbing her temples.  
“I’ll give you a couple minutes but after that I really don’t-“  
“Keep it.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Please.. please keep the baby.”  
“What the hell? Were you listening to us?”  
“I-I didn’t know how to come up to you. I’m sorry but please... don’t get rid of his baby.”  
“You have no say in this-“  
“I.. I want to be it’s father. I can support you financially please, please-“ his voice was struggling to come out as tears began to stream down his face. “I’ll give you time to think but please at least consider it. I-I’ll do anything.”


End file.
